Kids Say the Darndest Things

Toddlers are hilarious.

I can be having the world’s shittiest day (there’s been lots of them lately), and something will come out of O’s mouth that’ll either shock me, or just straight crack me up. Here are some recent gems:

Last weekend at a friend’s house, their dog kept barking because we wouldn’t let her down into the basement where we were playing. O’s response? “Shut up doggy!” I’m not even kidding. I don’t know where she learned to say “shut up”, but it certainly wasn’t from us, and it took all my willpower not to crack up and instead tell her we don’t say those words.

Lately after taking a sip of water that’s recently been poured in her cup, she’ll say, “Fresh.” Cracks. Me. Up.

She’s super bossy and loves play napping on the floor. So of course whenever we’re playing with her, she’ll point at us and in total drill sergeant fashion, yell, “Lie down! Go sleep!” Yeah, she’s a peach.

Because she’s sick so often, she’s become accustomed to responding to my “how are you”, with “I sick.” Even when she’s the picture of health. This one is not so much funny as I guess it is sad.

Her other favourite thing to order us around with is “Wash it!” Whether it’s her paci, her hands and mouth, or fruits and veggies, she’s always telling us to wash things. I think she knows mommy’s aversion to cleaning.

My personal favourite is how she talks to her baby. She’ll say to it, “How are you?” And then pause briefly and say, “Okay, yeah” as though her baby is asking her the same question back. Cutest.

What are some funny things your toddlers say?

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3 thoughts on “Kids Say the Darndest Things

  1. The other day Wolfy said, “I have a headache in my mouth.” Finally we realized that he’s getting his two year molars. Although today he asked me if I have a sunburn and then told me, “I have a sunburn in my mouth.” Hmmmm….

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