If it’s alright with you, I’d like to get a little serious this evening.
I want to talk about fertility.
It’s something that’s been on my mind a lot lately, what with my round the clock ruminations about round 2 and all, and also seeing people I love dearly going through some real struggles. Difficulty conceiving, miscarriages, stillbirths, IVF…so many women I know have been to hell and back in the last couple of years just to become mothers. And it’s heartbreaking.
So here’s my story.
Around the time we realized we wanted to have a child, I saw my gynecologist for my yearly pap. She did some blood work to check my hormones, and the results indicated my thyroid was a little under active. She put me on some meds to regulate it, and told me to start trying right away, because it would likely take a while.
So we did. And I got pregnant on the first attempt.
The hubby felt duped (“You told me it would take months and I’m not ready! You tricked me!”), and I was shocked. After years of other health problems, and some seriously irregular periods, it was apparent that, well, I happen to be pretty darn fertile.
The strange thing is, I felt as though this granted me some weird bragging rights. I referred to myself as “Fertile Myrtle” (or however you spell that g-d awful name), and whenever people asked, I readily offered up how easy it was for us. I never thought about the other side of spectrum or how this could make someone who has struggled feel.
But now I’m oh so conscious of it. I will never take my fertility for granted. Hell, it’s two and a half years later, and I don’t even know if it’ll be so easy this time around. I’m older, still somewhat irregular, and am fully prepared to work for it. The hubby doesn’t get this though. He has a specific month he wants us to conceive in, and says we should start trying at the beginning of said month. The fertility thing hasn’t even factored into his mind. I know better though.
For all the women struggling out there: I’m thinking of you. I’m praying for you. I want to reassure you that all your hard work will pay off and the hell will be a distant memory when you one day in the not so distant future get to hold your child for the first time. Because good things come to good people, and it’s meant to be for you to be a mom. Love and light to all. XO